May 5, 2012

Dust It off Bloghop: The Excerpt

If you're looking for my Writer's Voice entry you can find it here


Today is day two of the Dust It off Bloghop, and we're supposed to share a 300-350 word excerpt from the novel we chose to dust off. The excerpt that I'm sharing is from a novel I started in 2010 that I'm now calling IT ALL FALLS DOWN.

In this excerpt twelve-year-old Olivia and her best friend Alison have made plans to runaway together. Well, at least Olivia has. It's written in diary entries, and Milo's Olivia's cat by the way. 

Excerpt:

Tuesday
12:00 pm

So now I’m on the swing set, but the seats are for five year olds, and I keep getting stuck. If anyone finds this journal they need to know that there are one million and one houses on this street. A new one pops up every day but it’s still quiet. Like the vacuum cleaner my mother used this morning sucked up everyone. But I bet she’d be happy about that because she hates our neighbors.

And just in case you get lost, but you shouldn’t, my house is the one with the gnomes in front. Their heads are missing, but Milo and I like them better that way. I keep this journal underneath the doormat, out back. My handwritings okay so this should be easy to read.

Alison, my bike, and I will be long gone by then. She agreed to come with me this time. We pinkie promised. And everyone knows that when you break a pinkie promise bad things happen. Like last year when Mrs. Brinkley’s son, from across the street, pinkie promised me I could ride his bike, and he didn’t. I shoved him hard, and he fell onto his elbows.

They moved him far away, the pinkie promise gods, just like everyone else.

5:30 pm

My dad’s a robot. That’s what I think. He doesn’t function properly unless my mother’s around. We almost made it out the garage door before he came in. We would have made it even further if my mother hadn’t come in, followed by Milo. And with Milo there I knew I couldn’t leave without an explanation.

But Alison doesn’t think we would have made it very far because next to being a robot, my dad was a star athlete on his school’s track team. 

12 comments:

  1. Lol, this is so cute! I love the part about the pinkie promise, it made me laugh! :D

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  2. The paragraph about the pinkie promise made me laugh. She says bad things happen if you don't. But she was the one who made that bad thing happen. Cute. Shows her character.

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  3. I really like the pinkie promise bit, too. :) Very cute!

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  4. Wow, Tracey, I love the openness of this writing, there's something raw and likeable about it. Fabulous!! And I'm with the others, I loved the pinky promise bit. :D

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  5. This is great reading! I want to read more. Your writing is so wonderful.

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  6. I love the voice! I feel like I'm reading a 12 year olds journal entry and not a writer trying to portray a 12 year old. So bravo because pulling off a spot on voice is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things to do. And yes the pinky promise part was adorable!

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  7. I really enjoyed this. You captured the characters voice really well, and it was really funny.

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  8. As always, you are such a genius with the voice of this girl Tracey. I truly feel like I'm in her head. :)

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  9. I always knew there were pinkie promise gods :) This has great voice! Nice job :)

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  10. Thanks for all the amazing comments. It's nice to meet you, Shiela. Thanks for following. :D

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  11. a diary of a new kid on the block! fun!

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